You're a RatGirl
A downloadable 12-Word RPG
You’re a RATGIRL
Content Warning: References to Mental health Issues, Childhood Trauma and Neglect, Isolation, Strong Emotions ascribed to ‘You’
This little thing is extremely personal.
For me these 12 words are some of the important I have written.
I don’t really care if it counts as an RPG, lyric game or whatever.
Simply by existing, it is more than worth the effort I have put into it, both for me and the ratgirl at my core; RATGRRRL
I hope it means something to you.
You’re a Ratgirl and RatGrrrl Games take their names and inspiration from the core of my trauma and neurodivergences, which I have only recently come to understand the extent they went ignored for most of my life.
I want to make things that explore and help her, and that she would want to play.
Created for the 12-Word RPG Jam Hosted by W.H. Arthur, Rook and Role
I will forever be indebted to Strega Wolf van den Berg and their Lichoma: A Meatpunk TTRPG and Wendi Yu and her Here, There, Be Monsters! For reigniting my passion for TTRPGs, helping me embrace my Queerness, and make me feel braver in expressing myself honestly.
I am Queer in every sense.
I don't make things for bigots.
Everything I create will always be Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) [Art licensed from artists may have their own licenses].
I can't stop bigots using my fucking Queer shit, but they are absolutely not welcome to it and I will call them the fuck out.
[RatGrrrl Games Logo by Strega Wolf van den Berg
RatGrrrl Games Rat: Black and white sketchy, rough-looking rat on high alert, holding a knife with a little red blood dripping from it with:
“RATGRRRL Games” beneath in sketchy black text on white background with anarchy symbol for the A and inverted T.]
***
In the writing of this thread, I became aware that The Paper Project used Mind Journey to create its textures. I want to acknowledge the elements I have used in my work, but I personally do not feel comfortable with using 'AI'-generated material, especially from sources like Mind Journey. 'AI' created elements are a bit different than so-called 'AI' 'art', but I will no longer be using this resource. (This is not something I am interested in debating & is for each to make their own choices)
This is discussed further in this devlog.
There are oceans of public domain, creative commons, etc. free resources and countless incredible and far too reasonably priced artists out there with Patreons full of amazing art for as little as $1 a month.
Check out the Images section of the frankly upsettingly brilliant Annotated Archive of Game Design Resources curated by Goblin Archives.
Status | Released |
Rating | Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars (16 total ratings) |
Author | RatGrrrl Games |
Genre | Role Playing |
Tags | 12-word-rpg, c-ptsd, micro-rpg, neurodivergent, rat, ratgirl, Solo RPG, trauma, Tabletop role-playing game |
Download
Click download now to get access to the following files:
Development log
- 'AI'-generated TexturesMar 22, 2023
Comments
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I have experienced all of these things.
The fucking isolation I've experienced most of my life.
The Anxiety. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS.
I love you sister.
Parental divorce and being thrown away like trash as a child.
I am still on my healing journey. I am still stuck in a fucking room that I feel isolated in without my door open. But atleast its not a basement, I have lived in rats nest like dirty rooms, and several basements in my life due to poverty. My Faith has been a big part of keeping me going. Psychiatry, therapy,friends help. But I'm still so fucking broken.
Recently I was in a very open windowed comfortable cozy apartment with another trans girl. The light was shining, it wasn't dark. The Air was flowing. I could hear birds chirping. And I feel inside of my chest feelings again. Kiss her. I have never felt so loved, affirmed, and safe in my life. But I don't know if this relationship is going to last. She's busy has two other girlfriends, and wants to be friends first which I don't mind.
Ever since, after my first partner broke my heart pre-transition. I have been unable to truly feel love. My heart has been numb. But a little bit ago I met someone who makes me feel worthy. Worthy of appreciation. I just hope I can see her again soon.
I hope that she doesn't give up on me like so many other people have.
I'm fucking terrified of abandonment. The Priest from my parish is leaving for a new position in the church. She is a queer woman and has lead the lgbt group for a year now. She has shown me what feels like true inexhaustible love coming from God. I cried in front of my friends when she told us this. I told her I wish she could stay. I'll miss you so much. I have severe trauma related to abandonment. My queer parishioners consoled me placing thing hands on my shoulders. Hugging me.
But I've realized that she will be ok, I will be ok. Shes going to go help other people. Shes moving on. I wonder if this is what the disciples felt when Jesus left. Their teacher their Rabbi.
I'm so used to abandonment, destitute poverty.
I was going to be homeless last January, but then I found faith. I found other queer friends through my episcopal church and they helped me. I feel furious at the world, all of the greed. I'm Glad I'm still here because I've seen the lives of others around me get better. And I've seen others do things for me out of the kindness of their heart. A lot of trans people may not like it but Faith in God keeps me going.
forgiving my parents has been hard. Sometimes I don't know if I am able to.
i try.
This work made me tear up. Writing my story here to you made me cry.
This work triggered me. It made me remember things I didn't want to. But also sometimes its good to cry. To let myself heal. Crying no matter where you are means you are healing. Especially at church I've learned this.
I'm tired for apologizing to queer people who reject my faith.
They see me as a pariah, but i fucking need this. It gives me immense safety.
I do not betray them, I never will. I know God Loves them, and Loves us.
I'm sorry for rambling about Faith, but it's helped me. Exploring my emotions, crying, finding love. Affirmation is important, Queer lives are important. Sometimes we need to acknowledge our trauma to start healing from it. Sometimes we need to face the evil we've experienced and talk about it. Sometimes we need to look at the future to keep going. Sometimes we put our hopes in someone to keep going.
-Lina Campbell
I cannot thank you enough for sharing yourself with me and I truly appreciate your response to this. I'm truly sorry for your pain and that this was triggering for you. I am so happy that you have light, people around you, and your faith. I am sorry that I am not very active on here and have only just seen this. I have taken a while away with my capacity and chronic conditions needing tending to, but I hope to be back to making things again in the future, and heartfelt reactions like this are so encouraging. Thank you!
Truly wishing you the best. Sending love, support, and solidarity xx
Thanks sister please keep making art!
I don't know what I expected from this jam entry but it wasn't this. /pos
As a queer person who struggles with mental illness (anxiety, depression and C-PTSD) that resulted not only from childhood trauma but also the fact I was undiagnosed ADHD and autistic for over 3 decades of my life, this game hit a nerve.
I wrote Hang In There, Little One as a way to try to help my wounded inner child begin to heal and it was hard enough fitting all I wanted to say onto one piece of paper. I cannot fathom how much more challenging it must have been to express such a thing in merely 12 words, making each of them count. On top of that, all the graphic elements help make the message pop and gain extra weight. You can almost feel the emotion like it's something palpable that is right there, so near yet so far, almost within your grasp but just barely out of reach. It's truly remarkable how much depth you can get across in only 12 words!
I can't put into words what coming across this game today meant to me. Thank you for sharing. The world needs more games like this. /gen
I truly have no words. I am truly touched and so very greatful for your kind words. I truly wish I could say more, but I am so taken aback by your response that my head has completely emptied, but this has made my everything!
I can't wait to check out Hang In There, little Ones.
I'm truly sorry you have has the experiences you've had. I am flabbergasted at how incredibly similar our experiences have been (on paper at least).
Just, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Sending so very much love, support and solidarity! Xx
Also your TTRPG resources is amazing and was a partial inspiration and helpful in my collaring Human Creations for Creative Humans
Funny you mention that, because I already have that on the list of things I want to add to the next update :)
(Which I've been delaying more and more for several months, but it will eventually see the light of day when I have the time to get to it.)
So, I'm confused what the gameplay mechanics are supposed to be for this. There's no instructions on how to play.
Hi there. This 12-Word RPG is more akin to a thought experiment, experience, or poem. The words are a roleplaying set up and prompt, rather than actual mechanics. You could apply or extrapolate it into any system you wanted. I hope that helps x
Ah okay, that makes sense 👍🏻
I can't be sure about all the subconscious processes that took place here but I think I made this because of your game.
I am honoured and that is incredible! Much rat love x
I keep returning to this game. I mean this is the 3rd or 4th time that I can recall reading through. I have an urge to praise it but can't really find the words right now. I just wanted to say that you should definitely keep doing this. I feel a kinship to it.
I truly can't thank you for your kind words and wish I had a way to convey just how much this means to me. Thank you so much x
The 12 words combined (just on their own) may not make you feel something... but THEN you realize this is not "just 12 words" put together... this is a real struggle and there is a huge effort behind it.
Thanks for sharing this document and for putting yourself out here.
Hope every Ratgirl escapes from their trauma!
I don't know what to say, except thank you so very much. I...yeah. Thank you xx
You don't have to say anything. I mean... you already did when you created that game. So, keep them coming :D More gamzzzz RatGrrrl
Great game! Love the layout and the art. I can really feel the emotions in the 12 words.
Thank you so very much. It means the world coming from you after having had so much respect for your work for a long time now x
Twelve words that pack a lotta punch. Sometimes less is more.
Thank you so very much! X
This is a piece of ingeniousness! Thank You! <3
Goodness gracious. I don't even know what to say. I'm kinda in shock at this response. Thank you ever so much for your kind words. Wow. I'm an emotional wreck lol x
You don't have to say anything. Just be the magnificently awesomely purrfect person that you are :-) By the way, I really really enjoy your writing style and game design ways. Even when it's utterly dark, it is purely beautiful. And I'm a bit of an emotional wreckage, at least occasionally. So, nice to meet a colleague ship :-)
Once again, a Big Gigantic, thanks for making this/these games the way You do. <3